


And I Said... (vaguely amusing, sassy and iconic quotes from the members of Fall Out Boy)

by PeroxidePrincess (thedisasternerd)



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Crack - freeform, Gen, I wrote this instead of my history essay, Iconic Quotes, Is this crack?, WTF, Why Did I Write This?, boys, probably not, quotes, smh, that sums it up, these men, whatever, wtf do i tag, wtf is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-12 07:46:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15990788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedisasternerd/pseuds/PeroxidePrincess
Summary: A STANDING OVATION FOR THE MINDS OF...FALL OUT BOY!...and what they throw up.Feat. Trohley (we need more of this blessed ship) and Peterick





	And I Said... (vaguely amusing, sassy and iconic quotes from the members of Fall Out Boy)

**Author's Note:**

> ..?  
>  Explain, brain.  
> I feel like this is mostly Pete and Joe, but anyway.  
> Enjoy the craziness of these "deep" and "serious" men. (Well, they are deep and serious, but really? They can be a bunch of smol, crazy idiots)

1) "So far we've just been having...great reunion sex." -PW

2) "An old lady is basically a fermented baby." -JT

3) "Did you just put a wiener in my ear?" -JT

4) "Excuse me, what's a lorry?" - PW (to Brits like me this is v. funny)

5) PATRICK: ...And in the meantime I'm just...dreaming of tearing you apart.

PETE: _You're a serious pervert_

6) "I'm not playing until I get my Christmas ham." -PS

7) "Things have gotten dumber, so..." -JT

8) "Hi, I'm Patrick Stump from Fall Out Boy, and you're on no good fucking television." -PS

9) INTERVIEWER: *walking into the dressing room or whatever* Hi can I have everybody's names?

PATRICK: _*_ dead serious to the camera* _Fuck you_

10) "Sex at home with the peaches, my friend." -JT

11) PETE: Yeah! Patrick's like come sit on my lap... Come sit on my lap... Tell me what you want...

PATRICK: T-tell me what you want...

PETE: You've been a naughty boy...

12) PATRICK: I feel like I don't set a good example to the kids -

PETE: _Naughty daddy._

13) "I learned that yoga and yoghurt are different things..." -PW

14) "One time I fell in love with a cat and then I realised it wasn't a human being and it wasn't as sexy as we thought it was." -PW

15) "Windpower...is fucking sexy." -PW

16) "Not even like, joke poncho, but serious "I wear a poncho" poncho." -PS

17) "I don't ever say lame things on dates... I'm perfect." -AH

18) "The hammer is my penis." -AH

19) "Get that ding-dong outta here...And the other ding-dong too!" -JT

20) INTERVIEWER: and here we are, backstage, with One Direction.

JOE, PETE AND ANDY: Hi, I'm Harry

PATRICK: HI, I'm Henry

21) "If you are what I eat then I'm mostly cerial." -PS

22) " THE LAST OF THE REAL ONES MUSIC VIDEO

FALL OUT BOY

STARRING: Pete Wentz as Pete Wentz & Llamas as llamas

LLAMA WRANGLING SPECIALISTS: [...], [...]

DIRECTED BY THE MOODY MEYER MONSTERS

CINEMATOGRAPHY BY: A Fanciful Box

[...]

BODY REMOVAL BY: His Name is Jeff

[...]

STUNTS BY: Patrick's hand

CATERING APPROVED BY: Not Bad Joe

IKEA MONKEY PROVIDED BY: Andy

[...] " - L.O.T.R.O. music video credits

23) JOE: Don't ya guys hate

PATRICK: Don't ya hate

JOE: when your fedora gets crushed

PATRICK: Don't ya guys hate when your fedora gets crushed

JOE: In its hat-case

PATRICK: I know

JOE: When you're travelling first-class

PATRICK: When you're sitting in your _fancy plane_

PETE: Boiz have swag _._

ALL: *laugh*

PETE: ... _s_ _wag is for boiz_

24) "And all of a sudden there were boobs! Oh noooooo! I've seen those, maybe, once in my life?.." -PS

25) "I'm so scary..." -PS

26) Q: The best christmas present you've ever recieved?

ANDY: I got adopted yesterday by Joe

Q: Why did you adopt him?

JOE: He's my favorite baby boy

ANDY: I've been having a tough time with them all having new kids

JOE: Well me and my wife just had a daughter and we really wanted a son, and he's always been my baby boy

Q: But Andy already has facial hair, you're gonna adopt a man with facial hair already?

JOE: I can groom him all day long, which is what I've always wanted to do with a fine young boy like this.

27) "I feel more powerful with this wig on." -PW

28) "You can fit two babies in there...and a duck." -JT

29) Q: [on SRAR] ...so what's different about this album?

PETE: I learned how to play bass

30) Q: and Andy? Are you still single or no?

JOE: He's our number one single

31) "Playing Nintendo makes me forget I don't have any friends." -PS

32) "I live in a cave... in a van by the river." -PS

33) PETE: If you want the hot lead singer of a pop-punk band come and do your dishes, come to -

PATRICK: That's not gonna happen, right?

PETE: *innocently* what?

34) "I would totally do Patrick Stump." -PW

35) [talking about Pete's ~~trousers~~ ~~~~pants] "I just... want your pants, I want to...get in... your pants." -PS

36) "Spoof-a-goof on you buddy, you just had sex with my brother." -JT

37) "Does he even wear edible deodorant?" -PW

38) Q: Favourite word in french?

PETE: *whispers to Andy*

ANDY: Menáge a trois. [threesome]

39) "Cake Cake Cake" -PW

40) INTERVIEWER: Can I very quickly have everybody's names?

"Joe." "Patrick." "Andy." "Jason"

41) "If you are what you love then I'm pizza." -PW

42)

43) PATRICK: we don't tour in a van any more

JOE: I do

PATRICK: we make him follow

JOE: I caravan dude, just...lookin' for the party.

44) "You're in my crotch Patrick." -PW

45) Q: Vanilla or chocolate ice cream?

PETE: Chocolate

PATRICK: Vanilla

PETE:

PATRICK: ...I really wonder what was going through your head when I said that...

46) "Yeah...big dip in the stunt industry...I've been getting the Stunt Weekly and it's... the size of the pages's gone down and I though...It's been stunted." -JT

47) PETE: You are... the little pervert that get's all the pleasure out of popping all the balloons onstage...

PATRICK: And for some reason that's pereverted for you and it's not like, it's a simple joy, I just wanna _pop the balloons_ it's fun.

PETE: I do picture you home alone running around in the dark in your underwear popping balloons... You know, it's the kind of face you make, that's all.

48) "I partied so hard I think I slept and then had oatmeal." -PS

49) "Pete's gonna come by with Starbucks and...I don't know, spill it on it, then everyone dies..?" -AH

50) "I wanna watch you burn alive." -PW

51) "Whew. I'm a big boy now." -PW

52) "Hey, you're in my bathroom, just as creeped out as I am!" -JT

53) "That was a wrap. I had fun." -AH

54) "When I was in school, my mom brought me to the doctor's because I slept in class a lot; turns out I was just lazy." -PS

55) PETE: Oh my God it's Patrick Stump!

PATRICK: Oh my God I am!

56) "For one dollar you can cover your wall in moss. All you need is some super glue." -JT

57) "I have more hair. More than the average man." -JT

58) JOE: I mean, I'm a little dude, she's a little girl, and - no, what I mean is-

PETE: Gross. Haha.

59) Q: Is Pete annoying?

PATRICK: no, I'm the annoying one

60) Q: [talking about the lack of toilets on the tour bus] So where do you poo?

JOE: ...get it done before-

ANDY: In your pants.

**Author's Note:**

> Uh..?  
> Don't...hate..?  
>  _I'm sensetive..._


End file.
